Humour Page of the Month

Phrases of Humour and Wisdom:

Love is a matter of chemistry, but Sex is a matter of physics.

“The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception a necessity.”
- Oscar Wilde -

Laws are like cobwebs, which may catch small flies, but let wasps and hornets break through.
- Jonathan Swift

“I speak French, but Frenchmen always pretend they don’t understand what I’m saying.”
- Andy Rooney

“Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here, this is the war room!”
- The president in Dr. Strangelove

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.

I used to be lost in the shuffle, now I just shuffle along with the lost.

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

Love your enemies. It’ll make ’em crazy.

I don’t have any solution, but I certainly admire the problem.
- ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT

By doing just a little every day, I can gradually let the task completely overwhelm me.
- ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT

I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.

Sorry but my karma just ran over your dogma.

Why be difficult when with just a little effort you can be impossible?

Oh Lord, help my words be gracious and tender, for tomorrow I may have to eat them.

When you help someone up a hill you get nearer the top yourself.

It seems to me that your antenna doesn’t bring in too many stations anymore.

It’s been real and it’s been fun, but it hasn’t been real fun.

We, the unwilling, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful.

Don’t ask me any questions. I just might tell you the truth.

Earth is the insane asylum of the universe.

If you’re not an idealist at 20 you have no heart, but if you’re still an idealist at 30 you have no head.

Why listen to reason when insanity prevails.

I know you think you understood what I said, but what you heard was not what I meant.

Work fascinates me. I could sit and watch it for hours.

One person with courage makes a majority.