Humour Page of the Month

Phrases of Humour and Wisdom:

“God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.”
- Voltaire

“There are things that are so serious that you can only joke about them”
- Heisenberg

“Confound these ancestors.... They’ve stolen our best ideas!”
- Ben Jonson

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it.
- Dave Barry

Life is complex. It consists of real and imaginary parts.

Compromise is simply when we change the answer to fit the question
- Merrit Malloy

“Have you not noticed before now, that babies and babyish people who cannot distinguish themselves from the world, speak of themselves in the Third Person?”
-Flatland, Edwin A. Abbott

As far as we know, our computer has had no undetected errors

Behind every argument is someone’s ignorance

Good friends and fish stink after 3 days.
- Ben Franklin

Help fight continental drift...

Man do not mind bust in mouth if provided by beautiful voluptuous lady!

Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
- Voltaire

A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.

If you want a friend, then be a friend.

Build bridges instead of walls and you will have a friend.

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds; the pessimist fears this is true.
-Branch Cabell: The Silver Stallion

It is the sick oyster which possesses the pearl.
-J.A. Shedd

Support Mental Health Or It will kill you.

“And that was the end of Grogan, the man who killed my father, raped and murdered my sister, burned my ranch, shot my dog, and stole my Bible!”
- from ‘Romancing the Stone’

He reminds me of the man who murdered both his parents, and then, when sentence was about to be pronounced, pleaded for mercy on the grounds that he was an orphan.
-Abraham Lincoln: Own Stories

A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

Marriage causes dating problems.

It’s better to divorce than to murder.

If at first you don’t succeed, you’re doing about average!