Humour Page of the MonthFor March, 2019 - A new page is posted around the beginning of each month.
Phrases of Humour and Wisdom:
Dont be ashamed of poverty unless you got it dishonestly
Money DOES talk-- it says goodbye!
The Weather Bureau is a non-prophet organization.
Repairmen know the tricks of the trade, but not the trade!
Old Blondes never fade, they just dye away
Front page weather summary from a Stanford Daily: Today - Rain likely. Patchy fog likely. Temperatures likely. Tomorrow - More Rain. More fog. More likely.
Many a false step is made by standing still.
Is a computer language with gotos totally Wirth-less?
A mans house is his hassle.
Chaste makes waste.
A chicken is an eggs way of producing more eggs.
Assuming that either the left wing or the right wing gained
control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles
I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it
Six years for possession of a cigarette?...I got six months
for possession of a deadly weapon!
What do you call a boomerang that doesnt work? A stick!
Ive seen many politicians paralyzed in the legs as myself, but
Ive seen more of them who were paralyzed in the head
You dont have to explain something you never said
Delusions are often functional. A mothers opinions about
her childrens beauty, intelligence, goodness, et cetera ad
nauseam, keep her from drowning them at birth.
A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.
It is better to copulate than never.
Money is a powerful aphrodisiac. But flowers work almost as well.
And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
You cant always get what you want, but if you try sometime,
you just might find, you get what you need.
I may be crazy, but Im not stupid.
When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
Youre never too old to have a fun childhood.
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This page posted March, 2019.