Humour Page of the Month

Phrases of Humour and Wisdom:

An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.

Behind every argument is someone’s ignorance.

One family builds a wall, two families enjoy it.

Put your brain in gear before starting your mouth.

Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

Never drink from your finger bowl - it contains only water.

Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.

It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.

A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn.

Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples.

If you make people think they’re thinking, they’ll love you; but if you really make them think they’ll hate you.

I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours.

The universe is laughing behind your back.
- Abbie Hoffman

How can you be two places at once when you’re not anywhere at all?
- Firesign Theater

I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
- Oscar Wilde

We are what we pretend to be.
- Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

I could prove God statistically.
- George Gallop

Real wealth can only increase.
- R Buckminster Fuller

In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.
- John Lilly

The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
- Oscar Wilde

I’m still an atheist, thank God.
- Luis Bunuel

The trick is to die young as old as possible.

People can be divided into two categories: Those who divide people into two categories; and those who don’t.
- R. Benchley

There are things which we cannot know, but it is impossible to know these things.

Padlipsky’s corollary to Murphy’s law:
Every silver lining has a cloud around it.

You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.
- Dorothy Parker

The decision doesn’t have to be logical, it was unanimous.
- Jerry Burchfiel

Power means not having to respond.

I’ve always been crazy, but it’s kept me from going insane.