Humour Page of the MonthFor January, 2019 - A new page is posted around the beginning of each month.
Phrases of Humour and Wisdom:
The coal industry is being run by men with dirty mines.
Eat at Joes Diner -- One Million flies cant be wrong.
Speed Kills. But in this company it merely astonishes.
Teachers: Remember you are dealing with sensitive high strung children who are probably armed.
Consider: Many of the political jokes you laughed at last month have been elected.
Read your newspaper - an informed citizen panics more intelligently.
It takes scratch to go to a dermatologist.
Insomnia cures snoring.
Eliminate government waste -- No matter how much it costs!
Dentists are happy only when they are down in the mouth.
Avoid diseases not backed by a national foundation.
Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there
is some ordinance under which you can be booked.
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs,
then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
Zimmermans Law of Complaints: Nobody notices when things go right.
Real knowledge is to know the extent of ones ignorance.
Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein.
It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good
Theres a plot to make it look like Im a paranoid!!!
ME, paranoid? Why do you ask?!
The possibility does exist, of course, that I am paranoid...
But thats what they want me to think, isnt it?
A wise man knows everything, a shrewd one, everybody.
I wouldnt mind the number of paranoids around today,
if they werent all out to get me.
Another persons secret is like another persons money:
You are not as careful with it as you are with your own.
What you are speaks so loudly I cant hear what youre saying.
In the land of the blind the one-eyed must be mad.
Youre never alone with a split personality.
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This page posted January, 2019.