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Inner Peace Group of Ottawa, Canada

Humour Page of the Month

For January, 2022 - A new page is posted around the beginning of each month.

Phrases of Humour and Wisdom:

The coal industry is being run by men with dirty mines.

Eat at Joe’s Diner -- One Million flies can’t be wrong.

Speed Kills. But in this company it merely astonishes.

Teachers: Remember you are dealing with sensitive high strung children who are probably armed.

Consider: Many of the political jokes you laughed at last month have been elected.

Read your newspaper - an informed citizen panics more intelligently.

It takes scratch to go to a dermatologist.

Insomnia cures snoring.

Eliminate government waste -- No matter how much it costs!

Dentists are happy only when they are down in the mouth.

Avoid diseases not backed by a national foundation.

Under any conditions, anywhere, whatever you are doing, there is some ordinance under which you can be booked.

If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

Zimmerman’s Law of Complaints: Nobody notices when things go right.

Real knowledge is to know the extent of ones ignorance.

Whoso diggeth a pit shall fall therein.

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

There’s a plot to make it look like I’m a paranoid!!!
- Amos Salmonson

ME, paranoid? Why do you ask?!
- Victor Kostrikin

The possibility does exist, of course, that I am paranoid... But that’s what they want me to think, isn’t it?
- Ed Pearson

A wise man knows everything, a shrewd one, everybody.
- Chinese Fortune Cookie

I wouldn’t mind the number of paranoids around today, if they weren’t all out to get me.
- Malcolm Edwards

Another person’s secret is like another person’s money: You are not as careful with it as you are with your own.
- E. W. Howe

Legalize freedom.

What you are speaks so loudly I can’t hear what you’re saying.

In the land of the blind the one-eyed must be mad.

You’re never alone with a split personality.

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This page posted January, 2022