Humour Page of the MonthFor September, 2018 - A new page is posted around the beginning of each month.
Phrases of Humour and Wisdom:
The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive.
Warranty and guarantee clauses are voided by payment of the invoice.
People from Los Angeles dont trust the air they cant see.
Id rather have this bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy!
A specialist is someone who has learned more and more about less and less until he knows all there is to know about nothing at all.
Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.
When a person puts his best foot forward and gets it stepped on--thats life.
The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.
Committee-- a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.
The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
Time is an illusion perpetrated by the manufacturers of space.
Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.
Try to be the best of what you are, even if what you are is no good.
I waited and waited, and when no message came, I knew it must have
been from you.
Please dont lie to me, unless youre absolutely sure Ill never find
out the truth.
Life is a terminal illness.
Writing a program is nothing but debugging a blank page.
Advice is a dangerous commodity.
Some actions have an end but no beginning; some begin
but do not end. It all depends upon where the observer is standing.
Science is supposedly the method by which we stand on the shoulders
of those who came before us. In computer science, we are all standing
on each others feet.
A logician trying to explain logic to a programmer is like
a cat trying to explain to a fish what its like to be wet.
Why look here for the joke? Its all around us.
Everything you know is wrong, but you can be straightened out.
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that youve got it made.
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This page posted September, 2018.