Humour Page of the Month

Phrases of Humour and Wisdom:

While money can’t buy happiness, it certainly lets you choose your own form of misery.

Parallel lines never meet unless you bend one or both of them.

Geometry teaches us to bisex angels.

An axiom is a thing that is so visible that it is not necessary to see it.

Sound is a rapid series of osculations.

Sea water has the formula CH2O.

For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

“Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it”
- Gordon R. Dickson

“We have met the enemy and he is us”
- Walt Kelly (in POGO)

“You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery, are now extinct.”
- M. Somerset Maugham

“If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
- Bert Lantz

“The one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception a necessity.”
- Oscar Wilde

Take time to do the things that really make you happy.

Obstacles are what we see when we take our eyes off the road.

College marriages are o.k. if the colleges really love each other

The government is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding government.

The thrill is not just in the winning, but in the courage to join the race.

You know what kind of day it’s going to be when you stub your toe on the pillow.

Fashion a dream and make it come true.

It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy that makes happiness.

Almost anything in life is easier to get into than out of.

A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships were built for.

If you do not understand my silence, then you will not understand my words.

Beauty is all around for those who chose to see it.

After all is said and done, a lot more has been said than done.

There is no remedy for sex but more sex.

When everyone agrees with me, I know I’m wrong.

Part of the art of being a woman is knowing when not to be too much of a lady.

A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.

Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.

Success is getting up just one more time than you fall.