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Inner Peace Group of Ottawa, Canada

Humour Page of the Month

For March, 2018 - A new page is posted around the beginning of each month.

Phrases of Humour and Wisdom:

The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.

Just because everything is different doesn’t mean anything has changed.

It’s not the size of the ship, it’s the size of the waves.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Wolfgang’s Third Law: It can’t work.

If you put your supper dish to your ear you can hear the sounds of a restaurant.
- Snoopy

The Fourth Law of Computing: On a slow day, you can wait forever.

It is morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.

Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.

Boren’s Law: When in doubt, mumble.

A lie in time saves nine.

God gives us relatives; thank God we can choose our friends.

Those of you who think you know everything are annoying those of us who do.

What makes us so bitter against people who outwit us is that they think themselves cleverer than we are.

What passes for woman’s intuition is often nothing more than man’s transparency.
-History of England

Men are not hanged for stealing horses, but that horses may not be stolen.
-Lord Halifax: Works

He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not is a slave.
-Sir William Drummond: Academical Questions

It’s no use crying over spilt milk; it only makes it salty for the cat.

It never will rain roses; when we want to have more roses we must plant more trees.
-George Eliot

I’m the person your mother warned you about.
-The Spanish Gypsy

Oats: a grain which is commonly given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people.
-Johnson, Definition Dictionary

I used to be disgusted, now, I’m just amused.

Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.

We are the people our parents warned us about.

You can live outside the law, but you must be honest.

There is no excuse for laziness, but I’m working on it.

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This page posted March, 2018.