Humour Page of the Month

Phrases of Humour and Wisdom:

Cancer cures smoking -- It puts you in a flip-top box too!

Swelled heads are nature’s way of filling vacuums.

Idleness is tough because you get no rest periods.

Join the war against violence!

Vacation in your capital city, and visit your money.

Mary had a little lamb. Support planned parenthood.

Colleges need federal aid -- SEND TROOPS!

The Post Office is being run like NOBODYS business.

Our jobs are safe. No machine would work under THESE conditions.

When management wants your opinion, they’ll give it to you.

Opinions are respected here, if you don’t express them.

Crime wouldn’t pay if the government ran it.

Atheism doesn’t have a prayer.

Did you ever see a college kid burn his parents’ credit card?

Do you care enough to be apathetic?

Please don’t ask me what the score is, I’m not even sure what the game is.

Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you wont either.
- JOSEPH FISCHER

Fourth Law of Thermodymanics: If the probability of success is not almost one, then it is damn near zero.
- DAVID ELLIS

Frouds Law: A transistor protected by a fast acting fuse will protect the fuse by blowing first.

Whenever I close the door on reality, it comes in through the window.
- ASHLEIGH BRILLIANT

The meek shall inherit the earth, but not its mineral rights.
- J. PAUL GETTY

Give a small boy a hammer and he will find that everything he encounters needs pounding.
- ABRAHAM KAPLAN

Don’t eat the yellow snow.
- Frank Zappa

I wouldn’t worry about them old dreams none, they’re only in your head.
- Bob Dylan

Do not adjust your mind. The fault is in reality.
- Bill Wright

Love is not enough, but it sure helps.

All solutions breed new problems.

Progress is an illusion.

Nothing lasts. The world gets better every day... Then worse again in the evening.
- EPIGRAM DISTILLERS

Never try to make anyone like yourself - you know, God knows, that one of you is enough.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It’s hard to soar like an eagle when you’re surrounded by turkeys.

Life is too important to be taken seriously.