Humour Page of the MonthFor August, 2018 - A new page is posted around the beginning of each month.
Phrases of Humour and Wisdom:
An idea is not responsible for the people who believe in it.
Behind every argument is someones ignorance.
One family builds a wall, two families enjoy it.
Put your brain in gear before starting your mouth.
Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Never drink from your finger bowl - it contains only water.
Whenever I feel like exercise, I lie down until the feeling passes.
It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn.
Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples.
If you make people think theyre thinking, theyll love you; but if you really make them think theyll hate you.
I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours.
The universe is laughing behind your back.
How can you be two places at once when youre not anywhere at all?
I think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
We are what we pretend to be.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
I could prove God statistically.
Real wealth can only increase.
In the province of the mind, what one believes to be true either is
true or becomes true.
The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
Im still an atheist, thank God.
The trick is to die young as old as possible.
People can be divided into two categories: Those who divide
people into two categories; and those who dont.
There are things which we cannot know, but it is impossible to know these things.
Padlipskys corollary to Murphys law:
You can lead a horticulture, but you cant make her think.
The decision doesnt have to be logical, it was unanimous.
Power means not having to respond.
Ive always been crazy, but its kept me from going insane.
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This page posted August, 2018.