Humour Page of the MonthFor May, 2019 - A new page is posted around the beginning of each month.
Phrases of Humour and Wisdom:
Schizophrenia sure beats being alone.
To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Boycott meat - suck your thumb.
Old musicians never die, they just decompose.
We have a equal opportunity Calculus class -- its fully integrated.
Kiss me twice. Im schizophrenic.
Alex Haley was adopted!
He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut.
Insomnia isnt anything to lose sleep over.
Life is not one thing after another.... its the same damn thing over and over!
The meek will inherit the Earth..... The rest of us will go to the stars.
Any given computer program, when running correctly, is obsolete.
Tell a man that there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and hell believe you.... Tell him that a bench has wet paint upon it and hell have to touch it to be sure.
Sex is like snow... You never know how many inches youre going to get or how long it will last.
What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick.
Love is a matter of chemistry, but Sex is a matter of physics.
Discovery consists in seeing what everyone else has seen and
thinking what no one else has thought.
Doing what you like is freedom; liking what you do is happiness.
Smile! It makes people wonder what you're up to.
Only Robinson Crusoe could have everything done by Friday.
You dont have to know where youre going as long as youre on your way.
Have the courage to take off when the others are standing still.
Learn how to bend and youll never have to break.
We accomplish in proportion to what we attempt.
Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go.
The race is not always to the swift, but to those who keep on running.
A friend is one who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you today just the way you are.
The real thing doesnt advertise.
Im not afraid to die. I just dont want to be there when it happens.
Our parents were never our age.
Happiness is found along the way, not at the end of the road.
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This page posted May, 2019.