Humour Page of the Month

Phrases of Humour and Wisdom:

Give me one good man, and I’ll give him back when I’m done.

Don’t trust reality. After all, it is only a collective hunch.

A shin is a tool used for finding furniture in the dark.

Reality is a crutch for those who don’t have a firm grip on fantasy.

Reality in small doses is OK. But as a lifestyle it is too confining.

A mind is a terrible thing to waste? No, a mind is not a terrible thing, nor one to be wasted! I suggest that we try to use our minds though, as otherwise they will be wasted, and that would be a terrible thing!

Subject is armed (with two arms) and is considered dangerous to politicians. Use caution when apprehending his writings.

This life is a test. It is only a test. If it were a real life you would have been informed as to where to go and how to proceed!

A home, where the buffalo roam, is messy.

Don’t lend people money... it gives them amnesia.

Sure there are dishonest men in local government. But there are dishonest men in national government too.
- RICHARD M NIXON

It takes a long time to understand nothing.
- EDWARD DAHLBERG

To know the world one must construct it.
- CESARE PAVESE

The mistake you make is in trying to figure it out.
- TENESSEE WILLIAMS

When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.
- CALVIN COOLIDGE

Law of Computability Applied to Social Sciences: If at first you don’t suceed, transform your data set.

If A equals success, then the formula is: A= X + Y + Z
X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.
- ALBERT EINSTEIN

Man invented Alcohol. God invented Grass. Who do you trust?

Time: That which man is always trying to kill, but which ends in killing him.
- Herbert Spencer

Paranoia is having to keep your TV set on all the time because the people in the box will talk about you if you don’t force them to stick to their scripts.
- Adapted by R. Geis from G. Farber

Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.
- Will Rogers

It’s not whether you win or lose but how you look playing the game.

The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.